Another Les Mis Post

A Deleted Scene From Les Miserables

It's like she has ESPN or something.

I should note that the idea for this originally came from my brother Jon. If you're interested, check out his rather detailed review of the film.

The Problem With Using Big Name Actors in Les Miserables

This is the first thing that I thought of during this scene in the movie.

Edit: Apparently Ginger Haze put it on the internet first. Dang it. But you should check out her Tumblr, it's pretty good.

From the Desk of Nick Fury

(Credit goes to the Memos From Fury Tumblr blog.)

11/11/11, Dang it!

About a month ago, I was chatting with my friends around our kitchen table when we noticed that our TV kept advertising things that were going to be released on 11/11/11, as if the date had some sort of mystical power that would magically make people do stuff.  The ad would talk about the product and stuff, and then in BIG BOLD numbers show the release date.  Sometimes, as is the case with all those ads for "The Immortals," the date is more important than the movie.

Don't believe me?  See for yourself:

"On 11/11/11 . . ."

". . . A film so violent. . ."

". . . that we can only show it to you. . ."

"In very."

"short."

"clips."

"IMMORTALS"

"premiering on 11 MOTHER 11 FREAKING 11."

Also; 11/11/11 also saw the release of Skyrim, Harry Potter 7.2 on DVD,  the Droid Razr, Lego Harry Potter, and 11-11-11--the movie (seriously, look it up).

Anyway, it was during this time that I had this thought:  if you were to make a wish at 11:11 on 11/11/11, it would be the most amazing thing ever and it would almost certainly come true.



One month later, on 11/11/11

Summer Movie Wrap-Up

Summer's officially over.  I've gone back to the daily grind of school days and work and all sorts of other things that will keep me from updating the ole' blog as often as I'd like.  But perhaps the saddest part of the start of fall is the end of the summer movie season.

I go to movies a lot. Probably about once every 10 days. By now, I've seen every movie I've wanted to with the exception of just a couple.  Here's the brief list of my movies I've seen since school got out:

• Thor
• Pirates of the Caribbean 4
• X-Men: First Class
• Super 8
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
• Cars 2
• Captain America
• Rise of the Planet of the Apes
• Plus many DVD's viewed from the comfort of the massive love sac that is temporarily filling our living room.

The only two big movies I still want to see are Cowboys and Aliens and Transformers 3, both of which I'll catch in the dollar theater soon.

Anyway, I wanted to do a quick  pseudo-award thingy with the summer movies, so here it goes.

Best Performance--Andy Serkis, Caesar the Chip, Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Like, seriously. Andy's ability to show emotion through motion capture is straight up creepy.  You all know him as the guy that played Gollum in The Lord of the Rings and Kong in King Kong, but this performance is arguably his best yet.  You get to watch Caesar evolve from a playful chimpanzee into a leader of a revolution.  Hopefully the fact that Serkis always plays a CGI character won't exclude him from an Oscar nomination.

Favorite Gang--The Kids in Super 8

Because they're just so lovable, it's hard to imagine giving the award to anyone else--even with groups like the X-Men or Harry, Ron, and Hermione in the running.  You got the awkward nerdy kid with giant glasses, the kid with braces who lights everything on fire, and the other one who's voice cracks a lot.  Plus there's romance between Joe and Alice that's really cute.  In fact, I'd say they're my favorite couple of the summer.  And, as The Goonies taught us, everyone loves a foul-mouthed, fat kid.

Most Awkward Moment

This:

Speaking of Awkward Moments:

This:

Least Scientifically Plausible: Banshee Flies, X-Men: First Class

I'm no physicist, but I just don't see super-sonic sound waves propelling a dude with a squirrel suit like a jet pack.  And since he flies so competently on his second attempt, where exactly did Banshee learn how to use a squirrel suit so well?

Best Pixar Movie of the Summer:  Cars 2

I say that sarcastically, because it's also my least favorite Pixar movie ever.  Cars 2 isn't a bad movie; it's just that after being spoiled the last three years with three of the greatest animated films ever (Wall-e, Up, Toy Story 3), I was definitely hoping for more.  Pixar should be too classy for toilet humor.

Machine That I Wish Existed in Real Life: Whatever that thing was in Captain America

Because not only did it make Chris Evans massive, it also appears to work as a tanning salon and hairstylist.

Battle: Provo

So last week, I went to go see Battle: LA in theaters with a group of friends.  It's the first of many movies I will watch in theaters this year.  I thought it was okay.  Here's my thoughts on it:

First of all, it's a big, dumb, action movie.  Don't go expecting much in the way of plot or character development.  The movie just jumps straight to the action with the opening scene showing LA already burning.  The movie then flashbacks to 24 hours previous to that moment and provide a series of vignettes that very quickly introduce you to each of the characters.  It lasts about a total of seven minutes.  They even provide captions telling you the name and rank of all the soldiers, allowing the characters to be introduced even quicker, so we can get to part where aliens start killing them all.

My biggest issue with Battle: LA is the way they filmed it.  I suppose the cinematographers were trying to go for the gritty, real-life feel by having camera angles and movements that mimics a war documentary; but to me, it felt like they just handed the camera to someone that has cerebral palsy.  Every shot had the camera shaking around worse than Rhianna's hips.  Every. Single. Shot.  That includes scenes in which nothing is happening but calm, peaceful dialogue.  Combine that with the seats I had in the front (since we got there late) and you get one serious case of motion sickness.

But the thing that always stick with me longer than a case of nausea in these films are the aliens themselves.  Unlike nearly every other alien invasion movie I've ever seen, these aliens do not come equipped with bullet/rocket/nuke proof energy shields that make any resistance at all completely futile.  The aliens will die if you shoot them with your standard M-16 (although it does take a fair amount of bullets).  The aliens do most of their invading from the ground, with squads of them running around in their space suits and guns shooting at the marines while the marines shot back, giving the action sequences a more Halo-esque feel.  I like this move, because it differentiates Battle: LA from other alien invasion movies where the aliens just sit in their ships and vaporize everyone.

However, the design of the aliens left a lot to be desired.  As a big time sci-fi nerd who used to draw pictures of aliens all day long in school instead of doing actual school work, I pay a lot of attention to the look of the aliens.

This is an alien guy that I drew about five years ago.  I probably have over two-hundred 9 x 12 sheets of paper with alien drawings that I made between fifth and ninth grade.

The invaders didn't have any cool antennae or crazy eyeballs. They didn't abduct humans to experiment on them or grind them up and use them as fertilizer.  They didn't even have super crazy awesome spaceships that rained death on Los Angeles.  I was sorely disappointed.  At one point, a red-shirt private gets shot in the leg by one of the alien's guns (which appear to shoot bullets, NOT purple death rays or parasites that eat your brain)--and he kept on walking.  I was totally expecting him to get vaporized or at least have his leg blown off.  I was thinking, "come on guys, if you're going to come all the way across the galaxy to wipe out humanity, at least bring a weapon that does a better job of killing us."

"Did that shot kill you?"  "Nope."   "Dang it!"

But on the plus side, these aliens didn't make a serious tactical error by grossly neglecting their field intelligence.  They thankfully weren't beaten by germs, water, or worse--a laptop with Windows 95.  That always bugs me a LOT.  Seriously, water melts your skin off and you decide to invade a planet that's 70% water?  I mean the indigenous population here is basically walking bags of water!

Same deal with germs.  The aliens in War of the Worlds planned their invasion so far in advance that they planted their tripods in the ground before humans even built cities, and they neglected to study whether or not they're allergic to germs?  That is such a cop-out.  

Dear aliens, 

If you are going to invade a planet that is literally covered with stuff that will kill you, at least don't make the mistake of running around naked.   That's the problem that the aliens in Signs, War of the Worlds,  and  even E.T. made.  You really ought to invest in some of those hazmat suits or something like that.  We humans know that you don't even drink the water in another country when you go to visit it.  Do you really think that getting out of your airtight indestructible ships and touching everything is a good idea?

"I'm on a foreign planet! I'm gonna run around naked and drink the water here!"

And another thing, why is it that after humans destroy your invasion force that you never decide to come back?  So what if you got hacked by a Windows 95 laptop?  Do you realize that by the time the ending credits start to roll that you've already destroyed all the financial centers of the world, all but eliminated a central government, obliterated our infrastructure, and brought the armed forces of the world to its knees?  It'll take decades before earth recovers from that!  Invest in some clothes and a firewall (I usually go with AVG) and send another fleet over. We'll topple like a house of cards.


Sincerely, 

Intelligent Life-form



Finally, I was wondering why it is that Aliens always decide to invade the most famous cities?  What do you think would happen if they decided to invade Provo first?

• LA invasion: Burn down the Hollywood sign
• Provo invasion: Paint the naked Indian statue red
• LA invasion: Army of marines and jet fighters
• Provo invasion:  Missionaries on bicycles with pass-along cards
• LA invasion: Defeated by water/germs
• Provo invasion: Defeated by the Jimmer
• LA invasion: Met by Will Smith punching them in the face and saying "Welcome to Earth!"
• Provo invasion: Met by a Relief Society President serving funeral potato casserole and saying "Welcome to the 14th ward!" 

Writer's Block

I'm still dealing with some hardcore writer's block.  Or maybe it's a creativity block.  I really want to start a new painting, but I can't come up with any ideas right now (by the way, any thoughts would be appreciated).  So this post will probably be a bit disjointed.

I'm trying a new thing right now.  It's called "cooking my own food."  When I worked at Taco Bell, I got 50% off everything in the food court.  It made sense to eat there, like, everyday.  When I was on a mission, members of the various congregation usually fed us around 5-7 times a week.  Now, I'm starting to see the financial costs of eating out all the time, so I'm resolving to cook for myself more often.  The nice thing: thanks to the frozen food section, I can eat all the junk that I normally have at fast food places at home.  Hello cheddar peppers and chicken strips.  Also, I got a bunch of Hot Pockets for snacks.  I'm very aware that this means I'm white trash.




Yes, I eat absolute garbage.  But that's the nice thing about having the metabolism of a greased cheetah strapped to a rocket and set on fire while being chased by ninjas.

Thank you, MS Paint.

I also saw Toy Story 3 this last week.  I can't believe how the Pixar guys keep topping themselves.  Surely, they must hit movie nirvana sometime, and then eventually start making lower quality films, but that isn't anywhere in sight right now.  Anyway, it was truly beautiful and the ending was more emotional than any animated film I've ever seen.  If you haven't seen it yet, stop reading and go see it.  Now. 

There are rumors that Toy Story 3 could actually win Oscars outside of the 'Best Animated Picture' category.  That reminds me of this awesome trailer I saw the other day called [the movie's title].  Here, take a look.

What's funny is that the YouTube comment's section for this video reads just like the trailer.  And I quote:

"Incendiary comment demeaning women and ignoring the general theme, while focusing on a body part or function. Rampant misspelling and grammatical errors intertwined with offensive language, ensuring that readers are left with a sense that the general populous and especially modern youth are self-absorbed unscrupulous ignoramuses."

"@someotherattentionseekingpost­er, unproductive name calling based purely on difference in opinion; possibly some reference involving the Third Reich"

"@Jerkposter INCREDIBLY THOUGHTLESS ARGUMENT DESCRIBING THE WAYS YOU ARE WRONG AND THEREFORE HOMOSEXUAL, ALL IN CAPITALS AND MISSPELLED."

Gotta love the Internet.