The Many Names of Maxibus the Man Van

Here's a list of some of the nicknames that my vehicle, a white 97' GMC Safari Minivan with tinted windows, has received since I started driving it in November.  Almost all of these were given by friends of mine.

1.) Snooki--So named because the Safari is somewhat wide and clumsy, and it likes to party.  Also it's prone to blackouts (such as breaking down in the Nevada desert or the church parking lot).

2.) Excalibur--Not really sure why the van got this name.  But I'm pretty sure the Safari and Excalibur were forged at about the same time.

3.) Pegasus--We called the van in the Arkansas Little Rock Mission 'Pegasus' for its swift transporting capabilities.  My van, on the other hand, would probably lose to the Titanic in an iceberg dodging contest.

4.) Maxibus the Man Van--The first concrete nickname the minivan received.  Usually shortened to just "the Man Van."  I'm secretly hoping that someday the Man Van will get some nice flame vinyls on the sides and a disco ball.

5.) The Shaggin' Wagon--No comment here.  Although I will point out how awesome it would be if I got some shag carpet in the van.

6.)Spank Tank--Okay, I guess I should make a comment that none of the verbs in any of these nicknames have ever happened inside my van.

7.) The Cuddle Shuttle--Sadly, that includes this nickname as well.

8.) The Makeout Machine--And this one.

9.) The Candy Van--One of my friends told me that I should write "FREE CANDY" on the side of my van and then drive around while playing the ice cream man song.  Great idea.  I always wanted to end up in the campus police beat.

Maybe I should paint a creepy clown and a rainbow on the van as well.

10.) The Perv Patrol--On a side note, another van started parking right next to me, and it's totally out-sketching my man van.  I'm not happy about losing my spot as sketchiest vehicle in the complex.