I Drive a Pedovan

...........................

My friends think its a hilarious name. Blind dates. . . not so much.

When People Ask Me Why I'm Not Dating Someone

If Dating Was Five Times More Honest and Ten Times More Efficient

This is what I'd imagine dating in Provo would be like.

There, I said it.

The Story of My Forever Alone Life, Part 2

I finally adding a new cartoon to my blog, but I'm trying something new.

I'll write about it later, but I just recently started an internship that has let me keep and iPad for the entire summer!  So I'm going to be using an app I downloaded called Tinker Paint. The drawings won't look as neat as they were, but they'll be more "freehand."

Anywho, on to my story.

So I signed up for a 2D-Design class last semester for my art minor. I was hopeful that the guy to girl ratio would be similar to what it was in my last art class - that is, about 17 girls to 3 guys, and two of those guys would be unavailable. I was also hoping that I would have better luck than I did last time (part one).

So on the first day of class, my wishes came true. The entire class was almost entirely girls. I decided to pic a seat in the middle of the room, in between two girls.

We introduced ourselves to each other and were getting along just merrily. Then I realized I had forgotten to check something.

(like how I'm too lazy to draw this picture twice and just reversed the last image?)

Indeed. Somehow, I had forgotten about the very first rule of BYU dating - check the freaking ring finger. 

Oh well, with one minute before class started, a girl was approaching the empty seat to the right, and I could see that she didn't have a ring. So that was okay.

But then:

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm saving this seat for my husband."

Eff, I thought. Not only am I surrounded by married girls, I will now be subject to gross PDA to my right hand side. 

Two days later.

It was time for class again. This time I decided to sit as far away as possible from the side of the room that had been claimed by the married people, and meet new people.

No rings. . . Sorry, nothing against you married people, but you're just not as fun. And if I'm going to be in a class filled with girls, I don't see any reason why I should hang out with the unavailable ones. Sheesh.

Anyway, I sat down, introduced myself, and started chatting with my neighbors. We joked, we had some witty banter and comedic timing, we played the whole 20 questions game getting to know each other. And then class ended and we all stood up to leave.

Curses.

There's always next semester, right?

P.S. As I'm finishing up this post, I've decided that the best way to describe this art is "Draw Something-esque." By the way, if you want to play me, just let me know! I tend go all out.

An Act of Kindness on Valentine's Day

If you're a BYU student, you're probably familiar with the note shown below:

You might be familiar with this note even if you don't go to BYU. This story was picked up by every local station in Utah and even by The Daily Mail in the U.K..

But in case you're not, here's the really brief rundown: Brittany Molina, a 21-year-old accounting major, was studying in the library on Valentine's Day. For any girl, that would already be a drag. While she was studying, an anonymous male student passed her the above note and vanished. At first, she thought it was a Valentine, but obviously, it wasn't.This is what she was wearing at the time, by the way:

This is not outside the normal dress at BYU. In fact, here is the exact wording used in BYU's official Honor Code statement: 

"A clean and well-cared-for appearance should be maintained. Clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, strapless, backless, or revealing; has slits above the knee; or is form fitting. Dresses, skirts, and shorts must be knee-length or longer. Hairstyles should be clean and neat, avoiding extremes in styles or colors. Excessive ear piercing (more than one per ear) and all other body piercing are not acceptable. Shoes should be worn in all public campus areas."

So here's my quick opinion about the guy that wrote that note:

1. You need to re-read the dress code statement.
2. If you feel the need to so brutally judge someone's spirituality based on the way they dress, at least pick someone that actually might need it.
3. Even if you do find someone who is breaking the dress and grooming standards, passing an anonymous note like that on Valentine's Day is tacky.
4. If you feel that what Brittany Molina was wearing makes you feel less "safe," you probably have a *cough* pornography *cough* problem. 

Anyway, I bring all that up because I wanted to share a story I heard in church today about another anonymous guy.

So this girl was sharing her testimony today in church and she talked about how she was also in the library on Valentine's Day, and there was guy wandering around with a large bouquet of flowers. He was walking up to all the girls who were studying alone and giving them a flower, wishing them a happy V-Day. And this girl actually teared up when she saw this guy going around, because of how kind he was being and how much she knew it must have meant to those girls (she was studying with another guy, so she didn't receive a flower herself).

Because of the media's taste for sensationalism, stories like this will almost never be reported, and this kid won't get the same media attention that Douchey McJudgemental will. Which is a darn shame, because I would much rather have my school be known as one that gives girls flowers rather than one that chastises them for wearing leggings.  Because of that, I wanted to share this short story with you, so that you can know that there are great guys out there who are willing to go out of their way to help a stranger.

TL;DR: Build people up by giving them flowers, rather than tear them down by calling them sinners.

What I Know About Texting

So I've been thinking a lot about the way I come across when I'm texting others, and I've come to the following conclusion: I hate texting.  I'm really bad at it.  But I am trying to learn how to be a better texter. Over the last few months, I have learned some helpful hints that I would like to share with you:

1.) The Short Text Problem.
Example Text: "Thats okay"
What the girl is thinking: "Ohmygosh he's being so rude and short with me!"
What the reality probably is: The dude is probably in the middle of something important (to him, at least), and probably doesn't have time to send out a longer text with proper punctuation.
How to prevent this problem: "Thats okay :)" 


Now everyone is as happy as the punctuation at the end of that message.

2.) Finding Hidden Meanings in a Text
Example: When someone starts their text with the word 'hey,' you can learn a lot from the way they misspell it.

For the record, a similar curve seems to exists for the ratio of texts to smiley faces a person sends.

3.) Other Advanced Uses of Emoticons

-[8l]  "Everyday I'm Shufflin'"

(V) (;,,;) (V)  "Need a new emoticon?  Why not Zoidberg?"

d:-) >  "Sup,' bro?"  (Note the cap and popped collar)

(:    "This smiley is upside-down.  This is how I communicate with people from Australia."

=)   "This smiley has big cute eyes.  It makes my text that much more expressive."

(^<  "Quack."

          "I'm a whale!"   (Note: apparently this only works on an iPhone) (Note 2: this fad died out three months ago.)







'__________________'

It's a Cold Rainy Day Today

This Is the Story of My Life

So during the spring term, I was enrolled in a 2D Design class.  Visual Arts is my minor, and my passion (if that's not too corny to say), so I was looking forward to the class.  However, I was NOT looking forward to the class schedule.  Tuesday and Thursday--4:00 to 10:00 PM.  That's six hours in one sitting!  I was already fairly swamped with the drawing class I took winter semester, and it became something of a tradition to stay up until 3 AM completing art projects during that time.  So this was something of a concern  for me.

Well, I got to the classroom early on the first day of classes.  There were only a couple of other girls in the classroom at the time.  And then another girl walked into the class.  And then another one.  And another one...

About three minutes before class started, most of the students had filed into the classroom and I came to a wonderful realization--there were only two other guys in the whole class!

The situation only improved:  one of the guys was at least 60 years old, and married.  Then, as we went around the room and introduced ourselves, I learned that the other guy was only 19 and was going to be going on a two-year mission for the LDS church soon.

So in other words, I was the only available guy for the girls in the whole class.  Ka-freakin'-ching.

I decided to strike up a conversation with the girl sitting next to me.  She was pretty and seemed nice. 

The people you make friends with in the first couple of days of class are crucial.  Not just because they can be helpful study buddies, or even that it's nice to make new friends, but because once you get to know the person sitting next to you, you are socially obligated to sit next to them for the rest of the semester.  At least that's the way it works in my mind.

*names have been changed.

So far, so good.
We were making pretty good conversation. . . until:

Side note: do any of y'all have any idea how hard it is to draw a hand in MS Paint?

I almost blurted out "You're married!!?!?!"  But instead:

That's right, out of all the girls in the class, I made friends with the only one that was married.  

Well, Becky turned out to be pretty cool and a really good friend in class, even if she was taken.  I figured it wasn't the end of the world.  There were still another 18 girls in my class.  And, to my knowledge, they were all single.  So I would keep on hoping, even if I was now obligated to sit by Becky (which I want to stress was not a bad thing).

A couple weeks later I got a stressed email in my inbox.  A girl in my 2D Design class who we'll call Jessie sent a mass email to all of us classmates saying that she had been sick for the last week and asking if any of us could help her out with catching up on assignments.  I saw another opportunity to make a friend and potentially find a date, so I volunteered to help her catch up.

The next day, after class ended, I helped Jessie catch up on the art projects she missed by telling her what the projects were (they were color theory collages), showing what my collages looked like, and giving her some pointers on how to best create these collages.

  

I decided to try to strike up a conversation:

This is the story of my life.