Happy Birthday to Myself

Yeah, my birthday was clear back in January. I know, I'm a slacker at updating. But I wanted to share this true story with you:

Le random passing of friend on way to school

YouTube Sharing Time

Here are some of my  favorite YouTube videos of the last couple of months.

If my blog was animated, it would probably look something like this:



This video made me realize that I am a crappy older brother:


While we're watching videos of cute kids, this little girl is unhappy with the marketing tactics toy companies use.


Finally, this is the sequel to one of my favorite YouTube videos ever. If every shell were like this, I would go to the beach and get tons of little shell friends.

That Awkward Moment When the World Ends.

The Many Names of Maxibus the Man Van

Here's a list of some of the nicknames that my vehicle, a white 97' GMC Safari Minivan with tinted windows, has received since I started driving it in November.  Almost all of these were given by friends of mine.

1.) Snooki--So named because the Safari is somewhat wide and clumsy, and it likes to party.  Also it's prone to blackouts (such as breaking down in the Nevada desert or the church parking lot).

2.) Excalibur--Not really sure why the van got this name.  But I'm pretty sure the Safari and Excalibur were forged at about the same time.

3.) Pegasus--We called the van in the Arkansas Little Rock Mission 'Pegasus' for its swift transporting capabilities.  My van, on the other hand, would probably lose to the Titanic in an iceberg dodging contest.

4.) Maxibus the Man Van--The first concrete nickname the minivan received.  Usually shortened to just "the Man Van."  I'm secretly hoping that someday the Man Van will get some nice flame vinyls on the sides and a disco ball.

5.) The Shaggin' Wagon--No comment here.  Although I will point out how awesome it would be if I got some shag carpet in the van.

6.)Spank Tank--Okay, I guess I should make a comment that none of the verbs in any of these nicknames have ever happened inside my van.

7.) The Cuddle Shuttle--Sadly, that includes this nickname as well.

8.) The Makeout Machine--And this one.

9.) The Candy Van--One of my friends told me that I should write "FREE CANDY" on the side of my van and then drive around while playing the ice cream man song.  Great idea.  I always wanted to end up in the campus police beat.

Maybe I should paint a creepy clown and a rainbow on the van as well.

10.) The Perv Patrol--On a side note, another van started parking right next to me, and it's totally out-sketching my man van.  I'm not happy about losing my spot as sketchiest vehicle in the complex.

The Great Nacho Fail.

A while ago, my dad was cooking nachos.  He started out by carefully putting tortilla chips evenly spaced apart on a pan.

He then took out the Pace Picante Salsa from our refrigerator and applied a small spoonful of hot salsa to each and every tortilla chip.

After that, my dad got the modestly sharp cheddar cheese and liberally grated it over the nachos.

My dad then placed the pan of nachos inside our oven which had been preheated to 350-degrees Fahrenheit.

At this time, I was sitting on the couch watching TV, eagerly awaiting some fresh nachos.  Dad turned to me and said:

For those who can't read cursive, that says: "Son, go and fetch some fresh parsley from our garden, that we may garnish these fine nachos!"    (That's not a direct quote, by the way.)  

We actually do grow parsley in our garden.  Being the obedient boy I am, I went out into the garden and collected a few cloves of parsley.  As you know, parsley makes it fancy.

Anyway, I got back to the kitchen with the parsley right in time for the nachos to come out of the oven.  My dad started cutting the parsley into tiny bits to sprinkle on top of our late night delicacy.

Now, maybe my dad got cocky, or the sweet smell of melted cheese distracted him, but whatever the case is, he made a mistake while chopping the parsley.

My dad had accidentally sliced off about one-eighth of an inch off of the tip of his index finger.  It took him a couple of seconds to realize how freaky that was.

By the way, I was just wanted to clarify that I would have drawn fingers on my pictures if I wasn't using a laptop track pad.  So you get just the circle hands.  Don't complain, just imagine fingers on there, with one of them bleeding profusely.

Anyway, it was around this point that my then 12-year-old little brother entered the room.

My little brother then picked up the small chunk of finger that my dad lost.

At this point my dad took the small chunk and decided to go see a doctor.

True story.

UPDATE:  Almost immediately after posting, I realized that I was doing y'all a disfavor by not writing about what happens next.

My dad went to our neighborhood doctor.  He lives just a few streets away and had just gotten off-duty at the ER.

The doctor then told my dad to stick a bandage on his fingertip and just let it heal naturally.

Meanwhile, back home:

Ode to Taco Bell

So yesterday I was sitting in the BYU Cougareat enjoying my new favorite food ever: The XXL Chalupa (with Chicken) from Taco Bell.

Look at that thing.... This contains a double helping of meat (only a couple other items at Taco Bell contain a double serving of meat; one of them is the 700+ calorie Grilled Stuff Burrito).  On top of the meat you got nacho cheese, red strips, sour cream, three cheese blend, lettuce, and some fiesta salsa, all in between an extra large deep fried flatbread shell.  This basically contains all the stuff you get in two chalupas inside of one giant, deep fried shell.  That's significant, because my regular Taco Bell lunch consists of two Baja Chicken Chalupas (no drink, I go with just plain water) for the price of about $6.50.  Now I can get basically the same thing for the price of about $4.50! Bwaahaaha.

Now, you're probably asking why I know so much about Taco Bell and why I seem to have a very unhealthy relationship with it.  Allow me to elaborate.

When I first got to BYU as a freshmen in 07', one of the first things I did was seek out a job.  I went and applied at the BYU Cougareat--the cafeteria in the Student Center on campus.  I was kind of hoping that I'd get to work in the Subway, but it wasn't meant to be.  The Taco Bell was really busy and needed some help, so I got put to work there right on the spot.  I was put on cashier duty, having never eaten at a Taco Bell in my life up to this point in time.  Needless to say, that first day was pretty rough  ("Gordita?  Enchurito?  Mexican Pizza?  I'm pretty sure y'all are making up names now.").

This is a painting of me working at Taco Bell.  I created it myself.

But I soon came to love the job and the food there.  One of the best perks about working at the Cougareat is that you get a card that allows you to get half off of anything there up to $6.  That means I saved $90 a month on food!  And I probably ate the Chalupas at Taco Bell three times a week.  Everyone that worked there knew that I had a thing for the deep fried goodness that is the Chalupa.  When it finally came time for me to quit my job and go on a mission, the manager of TB gave me a going away present--A Giant Freakin' Chalupa!  This thing was seriously the size of a pizza.  It was so exciting.



This is a photograph of me with my giant chalupa. 

Now whenever I eat a XXL Chalupa, I think back on that wonderful day that I was presented the giant, pizza-sized gift that I ate all by myself. Yeah, I have a TB addiction.