Summer Movie Wrap-Up

Summer's officially over.  I've gone back to the daily grind of school days and work and all sorts of other things that will keep me from updating the ole' blog as often as I'd like.  But perhaps the saddest part of the start of fall is the end of the summer movie season.

I go to movies a lot. Probably about once every 10 days. By now, I've seen every movie I've wanted to with the exception of just a couple.  Here's the brief list of my movies I've seen since school got out:

• Thor
• Pirates of the Caribbean 4
• X-Men: First Class
• Super 8
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
• Cars 2
• Captain America
• Rise of the Planet of the Apes
• Plus many DVD's viewed from the comfort of the massive love sac that is temporarily filling our living room.

The only two big movies I still want to see are Cowboys and Aliens and Transformers 3, both of which I'll catch in the dollar theater soon.

Anyway, I wanted to do a quick  pseudo-award thingy with the summer movies, so here it goes.

Best Performance--Andy Serkis, Caesar the Chip, Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Like, seriously. Andy's ability to show emotion through motion capture is straight up creepy.  You all know him as the guy that played Gollum in The Lord of the Rings and Kong in King Kong, but this performance is arguably his best yet.  You get to watch Caesar evolve from a playful chimpanzee into a leader of a revolution.  Hopefully the fact that Serkis always plays a CGI character won't exclude him from an Oscar nomination.

Favorite Gang--The Kids in Super 8

Because they're just so lovable, it's hard to imagine giving the award to anyone else--even with groups like the X-Men or Harry, Ron, and Hermione in the running.  You got the awkward nerdy kid with giant glasses, the kid with braces who lights everything on fire, and the other one who's voice cracks a lot.  Plus there's romance between Joe and Alice that's really cute.  In fact, I'd say they're my favorite couple of the summer.  And, as The Goonies taught us, everyone loves a foul-mouthed, fat kid.

Most Awkward Moment

This:

Speaking of Awkward Moments:

This:

Least Scientifically Plausible: Banshee Flies, X-Men: First Class

I'm no physicist, but I just don't see super-sonic sound waves propelling a dude with a squirrel suit like a jet pack.  And since he flies so competently on his second attempt, where exactly did Banshee learn how to use a squirrel suit so well?

Best Pixar Movie of the Summer:  Cars 2

I say that sarcastically, because it's also my least favorite Pixar movie ever.  Cars 2 isn't a bad movie; it's just that after being spoiled the last three years with three of the greatest animated films ever (Wall-e, Up, Toy Story 3), I was definitely hoping for more.  Pixar should be too classy for toilet humor.

Machine That I Wish Existed in Real Life: Whatever that thing was in Captain America

Because not only did it make Chris Evans massive, it also appears to work as a tanning salon and hairstylist.

Yo' Mama--Harry Potter Style

In honor of the release of the final Harry Potter movie this weekend, I'm posting a list of yo' mama jokes related to Harry Potter.  I did not create any of these.

Yo' mama's so fat, the Sorting Sat put her in the House of Pancakes.

Yo' mama's so fat, her Patronus is a cheeseburger.

Yo' mama's so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim.

Yo' mama's so fat, a Bogart morphs into a treadmill in front of her.

Yo' mama's so fat, she has to Apparate in sections.

Yo' mama's so fat, she got stuck in the Floo network.

Yo' mama's so fat, she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge.

Yo' mama's so fat, Dementors can't suck her soul out in one sitting.

Yo' mama's so ugly, Voldemort calls her "She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Naked."

Yo' mama's so ugly, Hogwarts is named after her face.

Yo' mama's so ugly, a basilisk looked at her and it died.

Yo' mama's so ugly, that instead of a kiss, the Dementor gave her a nice handshake and a promise to call her sometime.

Yo' mama's so ugly, she walked into Gringotts and was immediately given a job application.

Yo' mama's so nasty, she has her own Bertie Bott's jellybean flavor.

Yo' mama's so nasty, even the Whomping Willow wouldn't hit that.

Yo' mama's so skanky, she's known as the Whore-crux.

Yo' mama's so dumb, she brought syrup to a Quidditch match because she heard there'd be Quaffles.

Yo' mama's so dumb, the Stupify charm makes her smarter.

Yo' mama's so fat, they have to split a movie about her into two parts.

Sunday Night with Sharpies

"Harry Potter and the Deathy Hallows, Part 2" comes out this weekend.  In honor of that, I have given myself a nice little tattoo:

That's right: Death Eater dark mark tattoo for the win!  I made it with Sharpie markers on a Sunday evening.  

I then had to give the spiritual thought in ward prayer right after, so I got to show my sweet new body art off the the Bishopric and the whole ward!  They were. . . amused.

Update:  I made dark mark tattoos for my friend and myself when we went to see the final Harry Potter movie.  Here are some photos:

I was going for the 'emo Death Eater' look. Also: Bellatrix Lestrange and a hastily put together Harry Potter.

Come on, you know that's pretty cool.