Merry Christmas!

A beautiful musical number courtesy The Mormon Tabernacle Choir.






Children often put us educated people to shame with their wisdom.






The story of a group of people who gave up their Christmas on hold to serve others in the Lord's vineyard.






My personal favorite:   A small girl teaches us what the spirit of Christmas is.



A special thanks to Mormon Messages for putting all these videos together.

Now, go have yourself a Merry Christmas!  Enjoy some family time, eat some holiday treats, and spread the Christmas Spirit.   

A Christmas Story

There's nothing quite like writing on the laptop while sitting next to a warm fireplace.  I do love being home for the holidays.  Because of the mission, I haven't been home for Christmas since 2007.  I remember I got a couple of pretty cool presents that year, but my most memorable one from recent memory came last year.

As a missionary, Christmas can be kind of hard.  You're away from home, friends and family.  You'll spend it with your companion and any local church members kind enough to have you come over for the holidays.  The bright spot is that it is one of two days a year that you're allowed to call your family.

Anyway, I was serving in Jonesboro, Arkansas at the time.   I had been a missionary for around 15 months and had actually spent more time in Jonesboro than all my other areas combined, so I knew the members of the church there pretty well and was looking forward to having a good Christmas with them.  I really hadn't told my parents what I wanted for Christmas since there wasn't really anything a missionary really needs or is able to use (nearly all electronics are banned for us).  Besides, I think my parents already knew what to get me...

.......ties....

Ties are like the only part of a missionary's wardrobe that they get to switch up, so collecting ties became a fetish for me.   In fact, by the end of my mission, I had earned a reputation for having one of the best tie collections of any person in the field (I think I maxed out at 130 ties.  I've since cut back to around 80 right now).

This is a portion of my collection midway through the mission.  I always had the people who gave me ties sign the back of them, so they've become a wearable scrapbook of sorts.

These are two ties that I actually made myself with the help of a local ward member in Jonesboro.

Anyway, when Christmas came, I found many thoughtful gifts for both me and my companion--CD's, pens, stamps, dollar store toys, cash.  In all seriousness, those really are good gifts for missionaries.  Music is awesome for study sessions and car trips.  A nice pen writes much smoother and neater than the cheap ones.  Stamps let missionaries write people at home, since we can't call them.  We don't really have time to use anything else.  Of course, I had a few ties as well.  One in particular really caught my eye.  It looked strangely familiar....

Flash back to October.  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints just finished their semi-annual General Conference.  The leadership of the church addresses us with spiritual messages and counsel for our time.  Watching General Conference is one of the best ways for people to get to know what our church is all about, and as a missionary, it was kind of like our Superbowl. 

The following week, I was writing my weekly email to my family.  I was talking about some of my thoughts from General Conference.  "I really enjoyed Elder Holland's talk on the Book of Mormon,"  "Elder Packer sure is getting old,"  "the choir sang some really beautiful numbers."  And in a throwaway comment, I said, "and Elder Yoon Hwan Choi wore the best tie of the conference."  For real, though;  most of the leadership of the church wears very conservative ties.  President Utchdorf will frequently wear some nice ones, but Elder Choi's was probably the prettiest tie I had seen in General Conference--ever.



You probably can't tell from the picture, but his tie has got some really cool designs in the pink spaces.  The color scheme is works really well with the white shirt.

Flash forward back to Christmas morning.  I was looking at a red tie with pink and white stripes on it that had a striking resemblance to Elder Choi's.

I would later find out that my mom had searched just about every department store in Utah looking for Elder Choi's tie.  She couldn't find an exact match (after all, he is from Korea and probably gets his ties from Korea), but she came pretty darn close. 

Did I really need another tie?  No; you can tell that just from the first picture I shared in this post.  But my mom knew that I kind of had a weird tie fetish and she really wanted to make me happy.  I will never forget that gesture of kindness that she did for me.  That's what the Christmas spirit is all about--loving kindness.  I pray that I may always remember that. 

Anyway, I hope you don't mind the change of pace from my normally light hearted comments.  But hey, it is my blog and I have said from day one that religion plays a large role in my life and will play a large role in here. 

Here's a link to the most recent General Conference of the LDS church: http://bit.ly/fHxK7h

And here's a link to Elder Yoon Hwan Choi's October 2009 Conference talk--it's a real good one: http://bit.ly/i6qkML

A Ride's a Ride

Well, I'm back in my hometown of Farmington, UT for the holidays.  It was a beast to get up here Friday evening with the packing, the cleaning of the apartment for cleaning checks, and getting ready to move into a new apartment (it'll be in the same complex, but on the fifth floor instead of the 3rd--I'll probably write more on that in a future post).  The biggest problem was traffic.  It took a full two hours instead of the normal one to get from Farmington to Provo.  It was kind of a boring ride, being all alone in my car.

By the way, I haven't written about my car yet.  Over the Thanksgiving break, my dad purchased a much needed new car, since the minivan is slowly dying.  He got a brand new Nissan Pathfinder, which is significant for family reasons.  My Grandpa on my mom's side lives in Tokyo and worked for Nissan for his entire life.  Buying a brand new Nissan vehicle brings honor to the family on a level somewhere inbetween sending a kid to college and being elected mayor.  Buying a Honda brings shame and dishonor.  Buying an American car is...'meh.' 

Anyway, this extra car allowed me to take one of two cars with me back to Provo--the dying minivan or the 97' Plymouth Breeze.  I kind of wanted the Breeze, since it gets good gas mileage and has always been pretty reliable.  It's the car I learned to drive in and is the car I drove throughout high school.  We named the Breeze TLC--The Learning Car--since I usually had my 'learning-to-drive' moments in it.

This is what the Breeze looked like when it was new.  Christmas tree green.  This is closer to what it looks like now:

As worn out as the car was, it still had some good nostalgia attached to it; like the time I hit the gas instead of the brake inside of the garage, or the time I accidentally hit a mailbox during my junior year.  FYI, I am a very safe driver now with a perfectly clean record, so please don't be scared of driving with me. 

Well, it turns out that TLC's windshield wipers decided to stop working the day before I was going to take it back to Provo, and I can't drive a car without windshield wipers in the snow and rain that's been happening lately.  So I ended up taking the minivan back to Provo. 

It's a 1990-something white GMC Safari and has been servicing our family since before I was in sixth grade.  The van has taken our family to Disneyland on many summer vacations.  During the last trip, it died somewhere inbetween Las Vegas and St. George, which was one of the main indicators that it was time for a new van. 

I wasn't too keen on picking up a vehicle that has a history of dying in the middle of the desert, but a ride's a ride.  The Safari  has got other issues as well.  It's got Kool-Aid stains in the drink holders and smells like McDonald's french fries.  It has the turning radius of the Titanic.  The driver side window will not roll up if you roll it down, which makes drive-thru's awkward.  I don't like having to open the door to talk to the order taking lady.  Also, the trunk will slam on your head if you aren't watching it.  Fortunately, my family keeps a pole in the back to prop the trunk door open when you need to.

I decided that in order to feel attached to the car, I need to name it.  In all seriousness, the first name I was kind of partial to was Snooki.  Here was my reasoning:

-It's trashy

-It's kind of wide and clumsy on the roads

-It's a party van

-I'm not a huge fan of it

-It has a short life-expectancy (too far?  sorry)

-Someday, it will be legendary (in Provo)

But in the end, I settled for a more manly name--Maxibus the Man Van.  Anytime I hear Maximus, I immediately think "Gladiator," which is a way cooler mental image than Snooki.  Also, I think it's kind of clever.  My roommate suggested we hook up a disco ball in the back and maybe get some sweet flame graphics on it.  We shall see.

UPDATE:  On January 9th, 2011, Maxibus the Man Van died in the Church parking lot; leaving my roommate and me stranded in Arctic-level temperatures.  His fuel pump suffered from a failure to keep living.  Maxibus has since recieved a donor pump from my parents and is on the quick road to recovery.

Zany Christmas Presents that I Sort of Want

"My Other Ride is a Light Cycle" Hoodie
from: Threadless.com

I'd take anything from Threadless--the art they put on t-shirts is awesome.  But this hoodie is pretty tight.  It's based on the original 1982 Tron (see the trailer on YouTube for some laughs).  The real kicker is that it actually glows in the dark!  How obnoxiously awesome would that be to be wearing this while watching Tron: Legacy in theaters and have it glow in the dark the whole time?

Plush Sushi
from: ThinkGeek.com

I'm a little old for stuffed animals, but these are stuffed foods (and the fish is kinda like a stuffed animal, but much later, right?), but these are just so gosh darn cute.  To quote a recent movie: "It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!"

Taco Man Costume
from: buycostumes.com

Yes, Halloween has come and gone;  I'm aware of that.  But I have a secret desire to be a sign shaker for Taco Bell, and I think it would be totally awesome to do that while wearing this costume.  When you couple that with my awesome dance moves, I think you'd have an embarrassing YouTube hit on your hands.

Demonia Boxer 05
from: ShoeBuy.com

There are a lot of different shoes at ShoeBuy, but this one sticks out to me.  I'm only 5'7".  That was the average height for someone living during the Renaissance, but nowadays, that's kinda short.  With these shoes, I add an entire four inches to my height!  And that sole is so cleverly disguised that no one would ever know that I'm wearing platform shoes....right? 
(note: In all seriousness: do not buy these shoes for me.)

Why??

So this little card showed up on our door the other day:

Just to be redundant, here's what the card says:

THE HOLIDAY PROVO

MAXIM

MANSION PARTY

10 ways to chase and be chaste

KISSING 101 that will keep you out of the Bishops office!

SECRETS to get her under the mistletoe ;)

PARTY

FRIDAY

12.10.2010

EPIC PRODUCTION

Club DJ of the Year

SHAWN PHILLIPS

Dress to Impress

Vegas Style

Free Egg Nog

NA Mixed Drinks

Picture with Santa's

Maxim Crew

White Chocolate Fountain

Now, maybe I'm an old fashioned prude, but I kind of found this invitation a bit...distasteful?  Isn't Maxim the "Playboy Lite" gentleman's magazine?  Why is it sponsoring a party targeted at BYU students?

I don't know,  I kind of have a hard time with parties out here sometimes.  For me, they usually fall into two categories with very little middle ground.

Category 1: The uber-Mormon party. 

Music is provided by a live band in their later forties.  The setlist is old folksy music that nobody but ballroom dancers know.  Otherwise, the music is done by an EFY DJ and includes hits like The Hamster Dance, Alvin and the Chipmunks, every line dance ever, and the jazz song that plays in Chips Ahoy! commercials.  Bouncers keep out guys who haven't shaved in over twelve hours and immodestly dressed girls.  Dance Nazis make sure there is no suggestive dancing, potentially dangerous stunts, and that guys' hands are never allowed below a girl's shoulder blades during slow dances.  Experience can best be described as being 12 again ("I knew learning the Electric Cowboy in elementary school would come in handy!").

Category 2: The Underground party. 

Usually happens in a parking garage, creepy house, or back alleyway.  There is a large selection of alcoholic drinks without alcohol in them.  This includes pina coladas and margaritas.  Decor is urban underground with rave-style lighting.  Music is Top-40's, Hip-Hop, and Rap.  Girls take this opportunity to wear their non-honor code approved apparel.  Dance styles include the Bump and Grind, and that's about it, since there's  very little room to do anything else.  Experience can best be described as attempting to dance inside a can of sardines, and all the female sardines are half-naked.

Usually, if I want to get my dance on, I just turn on my iPod and dance when no one's watching.  Anyone want to join me?

What Happens When You Let Me Cook

So anyone who has met me knows that I have the figure of a stick person, and anyone that knows me closely knows that I have weird eating habits.  I tend to eat slow, but I can eat forever.  I usually eat whatever I want, as often as I want, whenever I want.  That's the benefit of having a metabolism as fast as a greased cheetah strapped to a rocket and set on fire while being chased by ninjas.

Also, working at a fast food restaurant has only compounded my appetite for ridiculously bad-for-you food.  For example, one of the things that we created during some downtime at Taco Bell was something called the Chillupa.  So what you do is you take a regular deep fried chalupa shell, and then you go next door to Sugar and Spice--the dessert/ice cream stop--and fill the shell with ice cream, syrup, and then toppings.  So what you end up with is this ice cream taco thingy that's awesome.  We also experimented with deep frying Grilled Stuff Burritos (which already had around 700 calories to begin with).  That was so amazing, I could feel my heart yelling at me by the time I had gotten halfway through it.



Basically, I have two diet rules.  First off; stick to the three F's--Fast, Frozen, and Fried.  Secondly; if there is a less healthy option, take it.  I don't care what MSG is--if it makes my food taste better, I'm all for it. Side note: if our nation decides to start banning Happy Meals and fatty foods, I think that means the terrorists have won.

I was particularly excited when I got my mission call to the south, since I heard that Southern cooking is really bad for you.  I got even more excited when I heard that the average weight gain for missionaries in my mission was in the neighborhood of 40 pounds (probably the only missionary ever excited to hear that).

Eventually, I found my way to Beale Street in Memphis on a preparation day.  We ate at a place called Dyer's Burgers.  Its big claim to fame was that it hasn't changed its cooking oil since it opened during the Woodrow Wilson administration (1912!).  In fact, the oil is so valuable, an armed police escort guards it when it moves locations.  Also, they deep fry their hamburgers.  Dyer's doesn't believe in worthless filler like lettuce or tomatoes; they only want to serve the greasiest food in America.  Dyer's and I think alike.



Anyway, towards the end of the meal,  my companion said we should try the deep-fried twinkies that are served here.  "Heckyeswedo!!" I said.   I was really excited.  The deep fried twinkie is like the mythical unicorn in my food world.  Up to this point in time, I had only heard of its existence, and I had been a missionary for a full 18 months before I had gotten to this point.


"Hey kids, eat my insides!"

We ordered two to split between our group of five.  When the server brought the twinkies out on a platter a few minutes later, I beheld what looked like something I had seen in one of those anti-tobacco commercials ("this is what the pancreas of a life-long smoker looks like...").

Maybe someday in the future, my own organs might look something like that, and then there will be commercials that that warn small children not to follow my example by having doctors in rubber gloves squeeze cream filling out of my gallbladder during Saturday morning cartoon commercial breaks.  Anyway, the twinkie pictured above is coated in raspberry sauce and powdered sugar, and it tastes much, much better than it looks.  If I had to describe it, I would say it's like a fresh crispy cream doughnut that was specially cooked just for you by Paula Deen.

 You know, as I was looking back on all the photos (+ video) I've inserted into this entry so far, I've realized that anyone reading this might actually be losing their appetite.  My apologies if that is the case.

Anywho, I eventually started getting the deep fried twinkie craving again towards the end of my mission, but there wasn't any places nearby that actually sold them.  That meant that I had no choice but to actually attempt to cook them myself.

It took a few attempts, several sacrificial twinkies, and a small fire that had to be put out, but eventually, my companion and I cooked what you see below.

It's coated in brown sugar because powdered sugar was not available.  Anyway, since that time, I've been refining and improving the twinkie recipe.  And I have to say, it's gotten pretty darn good (and it looks better than the picture above).  Here's the current recipe:

6 twinkies

1 cup flour

1 cup milk

1 cup baking soda

1/2 cup powdered sugar

1 tablespoon oil

flour for dusting

toppings

-Freeze the twinkies for a little while (probably at least an hour or more)

-Heat up some oil in a pan or deep fryer to a medium heat.

-Mix the flour, milk, baking soda, powdered sugar, and oil in a bowl so that you have a nice gooey batter.

-Coat the twinkies in flour (to help the batter stick), and then roll them in the batter.  If you like, you could stick Popsicle sticks in the twinkies so that you have a fun little handle.

-Deep fry the twinkies.  You'll likely only be able to fry one or two at a time.  Watch carefully, because they will burn quickly if your not careful.  Leave in fryer until batter has turned golden brown.

-Allow twinkies to dry and cool.

-At this point, you can spice up the twinkies by adding whatever toppings you would like.  Some of my favorites have included whipped cream, powdered sugar, jam, raspberry sauce, caramel, and chocolate sauce.

The twinkies are really good, but also very heavy.  You'll likely only need to eat one in order to get your desert fix. 

P.S.  So I was writing this post while I was on Thanksgiving break up in Farmington.  Towards the end of the break, my mom, being the Primary President in my home ward, asked me to be an emergency Sunday School substitute for the 12 year old class of kids only a few minutes before their class started.  She told me the lesson was on Daniel, chapter one.  Or more specifically, how Daniel and his friends became much healthier than their Babylonian captors in just ten days solely because they ate healthy food, while the Babylonians didn't. 

I felt very hypocritical, especially right after writing down this blog post.

But I didn't feel guilty enough to change my eating habits (had XXL Chalupa for lunch today, in fact).  Haha

P.P.S.  I do exercise daily.  I don't plan on growing up to be the blob that eats everyone.

The Skouch at the FHE We Almost Died In

I decided it's story time, so gather around everybody--I'm going to tell you a tale of joy and pain that is absolutely true (honestly!).

One of the activities that the LDS church advocates is holding regular family home evenings--you know, an evening where the family gets together to have fun, share a spiritual thought, and so forth.  As students at BYU, we are separated from our families and are obviously unable to hold regular family home evenings.  As a solution to this, the BYU student wards put groups of students together into 'families'  with a mom and dad in charge of planning a weekly FHE.

My first FHE group here at BYU was organized in the fall of 2008 when I was a freshman.  We had lots of good times.  We laughed, we cried, we had dinners together, etc.  When we got back from Christmas vacation, it was time to reorganize the Family Home Evening groups, but our Bishop instructed us to have one more FHE with our old groups until they could get all the new groups together.  Obviously, our mom and dad wanted to go out with a bang.  As they were brainstorming, our dad's roommate made a suggestion that will go down in history as being on par with the decision to fill the Hindenburg with Hydrogen.

I think the conversation may have gone something like this:

Dad: "What are we going to do for FHE?"
Dad's Roommate: "Dude, I know what we need to do--we should go skouching!"
Dad: "What's a skouch?"
Dad's Roommate:  "It's an old couch I bought at a thrift store attached to used skies by a wooden frame I constructed."
Dad: "I don't know if that's safe....."
Dad's Roommate:  "It's been sitting out in the snow during the entire Christmas break, so the couch is frozen and the wood is waterlogged."
Dad:  "I'm still not convinced..."
Dad's Roommate: "I've had 17 guys on it at once and I've dragged it behind my truck with people on it."
Dad:  "......Oh alright, we'll do that."

For those of you who still aren't quite sure what a skouch is, I drew up a blueprint:

I did this in MS Paint.  This is difficult to do when using a laptop touchpad.

And so the following Monday we traveled to Rock Canyon Park like a family traveling to America on the Titanic.  We got there just after sundown, and the entire place was full of people.  There were loads of families, youth groups, and thrill seekers all sledding on this hill.  I remember very distinctly when the skouch was dragged off of the back of the pickup truck.  It landed with a loud thud that made everyone turn around and look at us.  There was a collective "whooaa...." heard.

I looked at the skouch, and then I looked at the steep hill, and then I looked at the snow--which had turned smooth and icy from being sledded on so much.  And then I said:

The guy who built the skouch reassured me that he had taken the skouch down several hills on several different occasions, and never once did he have an accident.  Still, I decided to sit this one out and be a spectator (I'm normally the cautious/wussy type).

So about six people loaded onto the skouch for it's first run.  A crowd gathered around us to watch.  There was tension in the air.  Then the skouch took off and started heading down the hill.  It was pretty much like a bullet, or a jet fighter  (it kinda sounded like a jet as it went down the hill).  In fact, I think there might have been a sonic boom heard.  The skouch had so much momentum that it moved about another 50 yards forward after it reached the bottom of the hill.  When it finally came to a stop, the crowd erupted into cheers and applause.  Several seventh graders were heard to say "can I get on the next ride?"  In my mind, I was thinking "that actually looked pretty fun..."

I grabbed a normal sled and went down to bottom of the hill to join my friends.  When I got there, the skouch engineer said "that was nothing.  We're going down that part of the hill this time."  He pointed to the tallest, steepest part of the hill.  We started to push the skouch up the hill.  As our entire group struggled to move the skouch uphill for the next several minutes, I gained an understanding of what it must have been like to be an Egyptian slave building the pyramids.

The difference is that we had a much steeper incline and ice.

Anyway, we finally got the skouch to the top of the hill.  I decided that I would join my friends this time.  The crowd gathered around us.  Bleachers were set up and people held signs.  I got on the skouch.  We pushed off and started heading down the hill.

Once again, the skouch was moving at a break-neck speed down the hill.  Things were going pretty good for the first part of the ride.  Then, about two-thirds of the way down, we hit a slight bump on the hill.

You may have seen this in a Calvin and Hobbes comic before.  Anyway, when we landed, there was a loud CRUNCH heard.  It took a moment to realize that the sound was the wooden framework below us shattering.  We were no longer riding a skouch.  We were riding on a couch balancing atop a pair of skies.  From this point on, everything moved in super-slow motion.  As we got to the bottom of the hill, the couch started leaning forward.  I saw that the ground was slowly getting closer to my face.  I heard someone yell, "We're gonna tip!!"

The following photographs show what happened next:

Once the smoke cleared, I opened my eyes and found myself face-down, staring at the ice.  I heard a guy yell, "oh my gosh!  Jake, I think I landed on your head!"  I had to think for a moment to realize how much my face hurt.  I said, "yeah...<cough> ...I think you did."  I lifted my head to see a disturbing scene of carnage and tangled bodies.  Apparently,  I landed on the icy ground and started to skid on my face when this guy in our group landed on my head.  Miraculously, my glasses not only stayed on my head, but also only suffered from one small scratch.  A spectator who survived the shockwave sledded down the hill to ask us if we were all right.  Fortunately, no one was seriously injured.  Granted, my whole body was sore for a couple of days and I got a gross scab on the side of my face (and I'm sure everyone else in the group had similar maladies).  But I think we were pretty lucky.

One of my roommates (the smart one) decided not to ride on the skouch, but instead decided to take a video with his cell phone.  Sadly, the night made it difficult to see much of anything.  What you can see is our group pushing the skouch over the edge of the hill, and then we disappear with the skouch into the darkness.  About four seconds later, you can hear a large crowd of people say "OOOooooohh!!!" in unison.

After that, none of us felt like sledding anymore.  We decided to go to a Starbucks and get some nice, warm hot chocolate.  I asked for a cup full of ice to nurse the skid burn on the side of my face. 

I actually look back on this with fond memories.  Even though there was a lot of pain involved, I'm grateful for the fun times our FHE group had together, and this is what I consider the culmination of all that.  Besides, if you're going to have a near death experience, you might as well do it with people you love, right?

Thanks guys!

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

Enjoy some turkey and pie, spend time with your family, and drive safely y'all.

Thanks

Thanksgiving is nearly upon us.  I'm really excited about it.  I love spending time with the extended family and overeating.  Well....I can and do overeat all the time--Thanksgiving is just the day when it's socially acceptable and I can do it with style.

Last year, my little brother blogged about some of the things he's grateful for.  It was a wonderful list, and I figured I ought to follow his example and jot down some of the things I'm grateful for.

Thank you to:
-The BYU 65th ward
-The Arkansas Little Rock Mission and my wonderful mission president and companions.
-All the opportunities I ever have to testify and share what I believe.
-Anyone that invites me to get out of the apartment and do something with them.  It's greatly appreciated.
-The people in our military who serve our country.
-All the cars that give me the right of way while I'm on my bike.
-All the cars that don't run over me while I'm on my bike.
-That person who paid for my breakfast over two years ago when I forgot my wallet.  I never got the opportunity to repay him or even get his name.
-YouTube.  You make me smile.
-Chalupas
-People who laugh.
-Thanksgiving pies.  Yes!
-Leftover Thanksgiving turkey
- Anyone that comments on my blog, posts on my Facebook, or sends out a text every now and then.
-The free single of the week on iTunes.  That's $52 a year worth of songs that Apple doesn't have to give us.
-Warm sunny days (you'll be missed for the next six months)
-A day that isn't warm or sunny that reminds us how nice other days are (as long as it doesn't overstay its welcome).
-BYU
-Art
-The Carl Bloch exhibit at the BYU Museum of Art.  Amazingly inspiring.
-Any teacher or professor that has made me want to go to their class everyday.
-A person that knows what their standards are and won't budge when given the opportunity to lower them.
-Talented people that share their talents.
-Sign shakers on street corners that dance.
-My little brothers who are such good examples to me.
-My parents who still care about how I'm doing.
-Friends that stop and say hi when we pass each other in the hallway or on campus.
-People that give compliments.

On that note, I wanted to share a video that a couple of my friends posted on Facebook.  It's a short film that 15 minutes long, but totally worth every second.  You won't regret taking the time to see it.

Now go out there and make someone elses day!

The Touch of the Master's Hand...

This last weekend, I went to see the new exhibit at the BYU Museum of Art--'Carl Bloch: The Master's Hand.'  It opened this Friday, and has been hyped quite a bit through various church outlets.  I venture a guess that most people don't know who Carl Bloch is.  In a way, Carl Bloch represents the end of an era.  He painted Classical style religious paintings and large altarpieces in the later 1800s.  Bloch didn't get much recognition during his lifetime mainly because his style of painting was eclipsed by the growing modern art movements of the time.

During the mid-1900s, the LDS church started to use his paintings in just about everything from magazines to pamphlets and even movies.  I would venture to guess that every Mormon church house in the world has at least two of his paintings somewhere in the building.

 The Church has been in negotiations with various people for several years to put this exhibit together.  The main focus is five large altarpiece paintings created by Bloch.  One of these paintings is "Christ Healing the Sick at Bethesda," which the MOA acquired in 2001.  The other four altarpieces haven't moved from their churches in Europe since they were completed over 120 years ago.  No one has ever been able to see all of these paintings in one place before now.  So it's fair to say that this is a very special collection that BYU has here.

I have never been as impressed at the MOA as I was this last Friday.  I was genuinely moved as I viewed some real masterpieces.  Bloch had a special ability to tell a story through art, and to convey a broad range of emotions through his work.  I wanted to show you some of the highlights from the exhibit that really stuck out to me.

The first painting you view as you enter the exhibit depicts doubting Thomas as he meets the resurrected Christ.  The pictures I'm posting here really don't do this justice.  Each of the altarpiece paintings is more than ten feet tall, with most of the figures being larger than life size.  I love the way Thomas is depicted here--humbly kneeling and penitent.  He's overcome with emotion as he realizes that Christ has overcome death.  The colors and details here are wonderful (I particularly like how Bloch treated the worn and faded red in Thomas' robe).

This altarpiece shows Jesus in Gethsemane.  The Biblical account does not give us details about the angel that came to the Savior to strengthen him as he suffered in the garden.  Because of this, artists often struggle to depict this event.  Oftentimes, the angel is shown hovering over Christ, while the Savior seemingly takes no notice of them.  Other times, a simple beam of light is shown, while the source of the light in not visible.  Carl Bloch shows us a much more personal story in this painting.  You'll notice that Jesus' arms are clasped in prayer, yet they hang limply to the ground.  His expression is one of exhaustion and sadness.  The angel in this painting is just as central to the painting as Christ is.  The two of them are contrasted starkly against the dark background of the night.  I can't help but wonder what it is the angel might have said to Christ that night to strengthen him.  Or maybe there were no words, and the angel just provided a shoulder to cry on.

This painting--"Christ and Boy"--was one of the major highlights of the exhibit.  I love the relationship between Christ and the small boy.  Look at how protective Christ is.  The gesture with Christ's left hand suggests the verses of the scriptures that say we need to become like this Child.  What's barely visible in the painting is the tears in Jesus' eyes. 

This picture shows a crew installing "Christ with Boy" at the Museum of Art. It gives you a sense of scale of how large these paintings are.  Something to note: when looking at this painting in the gallery, who are you eye level with--Jesus, or the boy?

This is the last main altarpiece you see at the museum--"Come Unto Me."  This is probably my favorite painting of the exhibit.  Look at the slice of humanity we see here.  We have a man in chains who appears to be anxious about being this close to Jesus.  Over his shoulder you can see a man who appears to be skeptical of the divinity of Christ.  In front of the Savior there is a lame man, as well as a humble beggar.  There's also a mourning widow in black, and a blind man over her shoulder.  Finally, there's the child on the left side of the canvas.  Aside from Christ, this is the only character here who is looking at you.  A common theme in Bloch's paintings is a child that looks at the viewer; inviting them to be part of the painting.  Here, the girl almost seems to be saying "are you going join us?"  I really can't tell in you in writing how impressive and touching these paintings are.

The exhibit is free, but you either need to register for tickets online, or grab standby tickets at the front desk.  You can register for tickets at carlbloch.byu.edu .  I personally had no problem getting in on standby tickets on opening day.  Also, you can checkout iPads for the exhibit that give you a neat guided tour.  Currently, the iPad checkout is free because only about 20% of the content for the exhibit has been loaded on them, but a museum worker informed me that the iPads should have all the content put on them in about a week.  At that point, iPad rentals will cost $3.

Writer's Block

I'm still dealing with some hardcore writer's block.  Or maybe it's a creativity block.  I really want to start a new painting, but I can't come up with any ideas right now (by the way, any thoughts would be appreciated).  So this post will probably be a bit disjointed.

I'm trying a new thing right now.  It's called "cooking my own food."  When I worked at Taco Bell, I got 50% off everything in the food court.  It made sense to eat there, like, everyday.  When I was on a mission, members of the various congregation usually fed us around 5-7 times a week.  Now, I'm starting to see the financial costs of eating out all the time, so I'm resolving to cook for myself more often.  The nice thing: thanks to the frozen food section, I can eat all the junk that I normally have at fast food places at home.  Hello cheddar peppers and chicken strips.  Also, I got a bunch of Hot Pockets for snacks.  I'm very aware that this means I'm white trash.




Yes, I eat absolute garbage.  But that's the nice thing about having the metabolism of a greased cheetah strapped to a rocket and set on fire while being chased by ninjas.

Thank you, MS Paint.

I also saw Toy Story 3 this last week.  I can't believe how the Pixar guys keep topping themselves.  Surely, they must hit movie nirvana sometime, and then eventually start making lower quality films, but that isn't anywhere in sight right now.  Anyway, it was truly beautiful and the ending was more emotional than any animated film I've ever seen.  If you haven't seen it yet, stop reading and go see it.  Now. 

There are rumors that Toy Story 3 could actually win Oscars outside of the 'Best Animated Picture' category.  That reminds me of this awesome trailer I saw the other day called [the movie's title].  Here, take a look.

What's funny is that the YouTube comment's section for this video reads just like the trailer.  And I quote:

"Incendiary comment demeaning women and ignoring the general theme, while focusing on a body part or function. Rampant misspelling and grammatical errors intertwined with offensive language, ensuring that readers are left with a sense that the general populous and especially modern youth are self-absorbed unscrupulous ignoramuses."

"@someotherattentionseekingpost­er, unproductive name calling based purely on difference in opinion; possibly some reference involving the Third Reich"

"@Jerkposter INCREDIBLY THOUGHTLESS ARGUMENT DESCRIBING THE WAYS YOU ARE WRONG AND THEREFORE HOMOSEXUAL, ALL IN CAPITALS AND MISSPELLED."

Gotta love the Internet.

A Talk I Recently Gave on Baptism

I've actually been meaning to write on here for a while, but have had a bit of a writer's block on what to actually write about.  

...Come to think about it, I've had a writer's block on everything I've been wanting to write about.  I couldn't even think of an appropriate Facebook status to report the other day  (you know things are boring when you can't even write a sentence about what's going on right now).

So I decided to share with you some thoughts that I recently shared at my BYU student ward a couple of weeks ago.  For those who are not members of the LDS faith; we don't have a regular paid clergy at our church, and the weekly sermons come from different members of the congregation week to week.  It helps each of us learn from each others' thoughts on various subjects, and if you don't like the current speaker, you can take comfort that he's only going to be talking to us for the next 15 minutes.  I'm grateful for every opportunity I have to speak to a congregation because I'm pretty sure that I actually learn a lot more from preparing a talk than the congregation does from listening to it.  Plus, I get to practice some public speaking skills that I may need for future world domination plans.

This last time, I was asked to speak about the broad topic of baptism.  As a missionary, I probably gave seven talks on this topic and taught countless lessons on it during my last two years.  But this time, I really struggled with something to say.  Most of the males in the congregation had been on missions as well, and also had lots of experience on the topic of baptism.  So I naturally wanted to say something that was new and a little bit unique.

Well, during my mission and through a couple of other study sessions, I found some interesting little facts here and there.   Most people who are familiar with the Bible know of story of Jesus' baptism:

 "The cometh Jesus from Galilee to Jordan unto John, to be baptized of him...And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him: and lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased."--Matt 3: 13, 16-17.

So that's pretty familiar stuff to most of Christianity.  Now, a while ago I was browsing the Bible Dictionary, which is found at the back of the LDS edition of the Bible.  The Bible Dictionary is exactly what its name implies--a dictionary for Biblical terms.  I find reading it fascinating (side note:  the unsaid suffix to any usage of the word 'fascinating' are the two words 'to me').  Anyway, there's a little entry in there titled 'Gospels, Harmony of.'  In this entry, you'll find something that looks like this:

In the left-hand column, you'll find a chronological listing of the events in Jesus' life, followed by their location, and then a scriptural reference where you can find this event in the four main Gospels.  As you can (barely) see from the above photo, some events occur in multiple Gospels, others occur in only one.

Now, at the end of the Gospel of John, we read: "And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written."  So if we take that statement at face value, that means that the stuff we read in the Bible is really only scratching the surface of the ministry of Jesus.  So we're going to assume that because an event has been written by one of the four Gospel writers, it must be an event that was somewhat more important to that writer than some of the other events in the life of Christ.

In the Harmony of the Gospels table, we'll see 315 events in the life of Jesus listed (yeah, I actually did count that number up--like I said earlier; my life is not that exciting).  Of those events, only 29 were deemed important enough to be written of in all four Gospels.  Some of these events include feeding the five thousand, the triumphal entry, and the betrayal of Judas. 

Now, in this table, we'll find one last column that I haven't mentioned yet: Latter-Day Revelation.  This column lists spots that these various events are mentioned in scripture unique to Latter-Day Saints (i.e.: The Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, etc.).  Of the 29 above events, only three are found in all four Gospels and in Latter-Day Revelation--according to this table.  Those events are: John the Baptist's Prophetic Ministry, The baptism of Jesus, and The crucifixion.  The reason the resurrection of Jesus isn't one of the three is because it is actually listed as a couple dozen individual events, but it is covered in all four Gospels plus Latter-Day Revelation (it's a similar story with all the events leading up to Jesus' death, including his suffering in Gethsemane).

So if we were to go off the Harmony of the Gospels' table, it would be fairly safe to say that the three most written about events in the life of Jesus Christ would be:
1.) His baptism and the ministry of John the Baptist.
2.) His death and the events surrounding it.
3.) His resurrection.
(side note 2: Yes, I did count all these things up myself.  No, I do not have a social life.)

Why is it that Jesus' baptism is important enough that every source we've talked about found time to write about it?  I personally believe (and this is just my musings)  that the key rests in the word 'covenant.'  When any of us is baptized, we make a covenant to God that we will keep His commandments and take the name of Jesus Christ upon us.  Jesus has always been the perfect example to each of us, and his example would not be complete without showing us that we need to follow him and be baptized as well.  By being baptized, Christ is essentially telling each of us that there is a path to follow, and that being baptized if one of the very first steps.

I took this covenant upon myself over thirteen years ago.  And I'm sorry to report that sometimes I kind of trample on it or forget about it.  As I was doing this research, I realized that this was pretty important stuff.  It's almost as if the scriptures are saying "these things are important.  I keep repeating them so you don't forget them!"  May we all continue to remember the promises that we have made, and keep them.

Anyway, that's all an outline of some of the things that I spoke about  a couple of weeks ago.  You know, for someone with writer's block, I sure did ramble for a while there.  My congratulations to you if you're still reading this. I know it's kind of a long post, but I found it fascinating [to me].  Please, feel free to comment and share some of your thoughts, I would love to hear from you!

Top 5 Halloween Videos

This post combines two of my favorite things in the world:  Halloween and YouTube.  Halloween was THE holiday I looked forward to as a kid.  I would often start thinking about what my Halloween Costume would be right around November 1st or 2nd.  Maybe it's a bad thing to be into the whole monsters and demons stuff, but I just get a kick out of the costumes, the makeup and the decorations.

And YouTube is my pastime.  I think it's pretty much my go to source of entertainment when I'm bored, and sharing stupid YouTube videos with my roommates and friends is one of my favorite activities.

And so, without further ado, I give you my top five favorite Halloween YouTube videos:

5.  Human Transformer:  Halloween just wouldn't be Halloween without costumes.  People pay big bucks to get the best costumes and win contests at parties (if you're still looking for ideas, see CostumesDiscounters.com--be warned, their 'Humorous' costumes are kind of dirty-- or BuyCostumes.com).   There are a few different videos like this out on the Internet, but this one wins for clever engineering, good transformation, and the little jig the guy does towards the end.

4. Never Scare a Black Guy:  This one really needs no introduction.  It's short and sweet.



3.  Sorority Girls From Hell:  A very animated girl tries to explain to her date the 50's b-movie she saw the other night; Sorority Girls From Hell!  The theme songs got stuck in my head for a week after I saw this.



2.  Halloween Pumpkin Massacre:  Common horror film ingredients: sharp objects, screaming victims, and lots of gore.  Now combine that with talking pumpkins.   Natural connection, right?



1. Scare Tactics:  Gary the Babysitter:  Scare Tactics is a hidden camera show on cable that gets its laughs by scaring the pants off of its victims.  Oftentimes they go overboard with some extreme pranks, but they've also had some real gems.  Some of my favorite vids on YouTube include 'Bigfoot,' 'Alien Abduction,' and 'Rat Monster;'  but this one takes the number one spot mainly because of Gary's reaction.   There's just something endlessly entertaining about feminine guys screaming.

Have a wonderful Halloween!!

Ode to Taco Bell

So yesterday I was sitting in the BYU Cougareat enjoying my new favorite food ever: The XXL Chalupa (with Chicken) from Taco Bell.

Look at that thing.... This contains a double helping of meat (only a couple other items at Taco Bell contain a double serving of meat; one of them is the 700+ calorie Grilled Stuff Burrito).  On top of the meat you got nacho cheese, red strips, sour cream, three cheese blend, lettuce, and some fiesta salsa, all in between an extra large deep fried flatbread shell.  This basically contains all the stuff you get in two chalupas inside of one giant, deep fried shell.  That's significant, because my regular Taco Bell lunch consists of two Baja Chicken Chalupas (no drink, I go with just plain water) for the price of about $6.50.  Now I can get basically the same thing for the price of about $4.50! Bwaahaaha.

Now, you're probably asking why I know so much about Taco Bell and why I seem to have a very unhealthy relationship with it.  Allow me to elaborate.

When I first got to BYU as a freshmen in 07', one of the first things I did was seek out a job.  I went and applied at the BYU Cougareat--the cafeteria in the Student Center on campus.  I was kind of hoping that I'd get to work in the Subway, but it wasn't meant to be.  The Taco Bell was really busy and needed some help, so I got put to work there right on the spot.  I was put on cashier duty, having never eaten at a Taco Bell in my life up to this point in time.  Needless to say, that first day was pretty rough  ("Gordita?  Enchurito?  Mexican Pizza?  I'm pretty sure y'all are making up names now.").

This is a painting of me working at Taco Bell.  I created it myself.

But I soon came to love the job and the food there.  One of the best perks about working at the Cougareat is that you get a card that allows you to get half off of anything there up to $6.  That means I saved $90 a month on food!  And I probably ate the Chalupas at Taco Bell three times a week.  Everyone that worked there knew that I had a thing for the deep fried goodness that is the Chalupa.  When it finally came time for me to quit my job and go on a mission, the manager of TB gave me a going away present--A Giant Freakin' Chalupa!  This thing was seriously the size of a pizza.  It was so exciting.



This is a photograph of me with my giant chalupa. 

Now whenever I eat a XXL Chalupa, I think back on that wonderful day that I was presented the giant, pizza-sized gift that I ate all by myself. Yeah, I have a TB addiction.