This wasn't on the Travel Itinerary.

So the Memorial Day weekend was coming to a close and it was about time to finish the road trip and start heading back to Provo for school and such.

The drive over was easy enough.  We loaded my friend's car with snacks and a cooler filled with Dr. Pepper, and I brought a giant list of 'what if' questions I found on the internet in case the conversation got boring, so we were well-prepared.  Best of all, the route we took was fairly easy.  It looked something like this:

"Drive for 800 miles, arrive at destination on left." -Google Maps

However, on the way back, we had to pick up my friend's little sister in Las Vegas, which severely complicated things.  See, unlike Provo to San Jose, there isn't a good interstate that has been built from San Jose to Vegas, so our route looked a little more like this:

"Betcha wished you had a smartphone now, sucka."

Yes, neither of us had smart phones with GPS's, so we were forced to navigate the great American West the same way our forefathers did: with Google Maps.

My laptop was acting up, so I couldn't get it to print off a map at the hotel, so we copied down the directions on a sheet of paper. The trip was going well, but Google Maps was taking us on some sketchy roads.  We were on one two lane road in the middle of nowhere followed by another two lane road going through a village of six people and then we turned at the shotgunned sign and headed west thirty furlongs. . .yeah, it was like that for two plus hours.

By the way, I should mention that I have an irrational fear of getting lost, and that I get very nervous when giving or taking directions.

Anyway, we eventually got to the point in the directions where it said "drive for 127 miles (2 hours and 15 minutes),"  the step after that was to take the exit for I-15 Northbound to Las Vegas.  I-15 is close to the only interstate I've ever driven on, so I knew that if we made it there, we'd be in the clear.  I was finally resting easy.

Two Hours and Thirty Minutes Later:

Yeah, I was flustered enough to say Mormon cuss words.

• There are 259 miles between Disneyland and Las Vegas, Nevada.  
• Google Maps estimates the trip should take 4 hours and 15 minutes.  
• Buying the gas needed to get to Vegas in Orange County costs approximately $12.49 per gallon.  
• The car still needs to make it back to Provo after that.
• And Jake does not have the time or the money to go to Disneyland. 

This was Jake's reaction to this turn of events:

And that is why you should never give directions to, or take them from me.

Endnotes: Our car did eventually make it back to Provo.  It was 2:15 AM when we rolled into the parking garage. It's a good thing I packed extra crackers and easy cheese for the trip.