Cute

Recently, I found an old gem kept away in a box in my apartment:

That is a wallet size portrait of me as a senior in high school.  <shudders>  I'm not exactly sure what look I was going for here, but there are so many things I dislike about this photo--the dorky haircut, the goofy smile, the ill-fitting clothes. . . and most importantly--the fact that I look like I'm twelve! Because of a medical condition I have, my growth was stunted from eighth grade through high school graduation. I'll probably tell that whole story in a future post when I feel like it.

However, I did get older and age during my freshman year of college at BYU, and almost exactly two years later, this photo was taken:

This is my missionary picture, taken at the end of summer, 2008.  I'm wearing slicker clothes and a less goofy smile, and I think I've graduated from looking like I'm twelve to looking like I'm maybe 13 and a half.

Anyway, I'm sharing these photos because of something that I've noticed over the years:  Whenever I hear opinions about how I look from someone else, it usually involves the word 'cute'--my favorite adjective ever!  

 In case you couldn't tell, I typed that with sarcasm on my cute notebook computer on my desk with my cute purple mini-stapler on it while wearing cute clothes.

Now don't get me wrong here--I'm happy whenever someone offers any compliment.  Ecstatic, even.  I recognize that being called cute is not a bad thing.  But I get this feeling that whenever a girl says "you're so cute!"--they aren't talking about the Matt Damon kind of cute:

Because I don't have those deep, baby-blue eyes that Mr. Damon does. 

And I'm pretty sure they aren't even talking Justin Bieber cute:

He even looks cute when he's trying to look like a thug.

Because if I was Justin Bieber cute, then where are all the screaming girls following me everywhere?  Nope, I got none of that.  Dangit. Instead, I have this sinking feeling that they're thinking 'David-After-Dentist' cute. . .

Notice that there are no exclamation marks or pink hearts here.

Now maybe you're saying I'm being over-dramatic here and making a mountain out of a molehill, but let's look at this from a logical standpoint:

Exhibit A: Doing a Google image search for the word "cute."
I found a cornucopia of different pictures, but they definitely had a common theme.  Can you tell what it is?

All together now:  "Awwwww. . . . . "

Yeah, that is definitely NOT the look I'm going for.

Exhibit B: The definition of 'cute' at dictionary.com.
–adjective

1. attractive, especially in a dainty way; pleasingly pretty: a cute child; a cute little apartment.

Okay, so never mind that this first definition uses the words "pretty," "child," or "little" in its definition.  Let's focus on the word "dainty."  I read the definition for that online, and this is what I got:

"Dainty lace handkerchief" is NOT the look I'm going for!

The second definition didn't help my case very much either: 

2. affectedly or mincingly pretty or clever; precious: The child has acquired some intolerably cute mannerisms.

That pretty much cemented my "David-After-Dentist" theory.  Once again, notice the use of the words "pretty," "precious," and "child" in the definition.  Then do a Google image search for those three words and see what you get. 

I'll give you a hint: it's not Matt Damon.

*Quick disclaimer:: I am not fishing for compliments or having self-image issues, I'm just writing stuff that I think might be funny when I should be going to sleep or studying for finals.