I don't remember this much homework during my freshmen year. Maybe it's because I'm in the Marriott School of Management now, or maybe my brain is rusty from taking a two-year hiatus serving the Lord, or maybe I just decided to repress my memories of the vast amount of homework I did. Whatever the case is, I'm pretty busy these days.
A couple of months ago, my first test in BusM 301 was coming up. The test covered Financial careers, financial statements, and ratios. I really neglected to keep up with the material so I had to start cramming like crazy. But with how little time I had, that would mean that I would have to cut out things like my morning exercises, scripture reading or watching Lost (by the way, I finally finished with the final season).
This is where I started getting creative and looking for everyday opportunities to cram a little bit of extra study time into the day.
Alright, I didn't really study while driving or showering. However, I did start studying while exercising in the morning and while walking to campus. I still do both of those things today (strangely, I find that I remember things better if I'm sweating while learning them).
But I would be lying to you if I told you that I didn't consider making flash cards that I could put in individual zip-loc baggies that I could hang on our shower. Also, I did hear of a calculus student who put their homework in the passenger seat of the car so that they could do a little math while waiting for red lights.
Anyway, I went and took my first finance test some time ago. I totally aced it--but it was at the cost of any sort of social life. A couple of nights later, this happened:
"Hey Jake, I want this CD but I don't know if I can afford it. Would you. . . "
"Yes! I can help you out there!"
"Let me pull out my TI-83 and your balance sheet and do some financial ratio analysis here."
"Let's see. . . net income over sales. . . sales over total leverage. . . leverage over owner's equity. . . DuPont Ratio. . . "
I would like to take a second and comment on how good I'm getting at my MS Paint handwriting skills. Valuable workplace skills there.
On Thursday, March 25, the BYU basketball team was defeated in overtime by Florida in the third round of March Madness. My school has only made it to the Sweet 16 one other time in history, so I'm pretty proud of them. Of course it was very disappointing when they lost, but I don't want to go into a commentary of the game here. I just want to put up some of my favorite memories of the season.
This season will forever be defined by Jimmer Fredette--the man, the legend, the star of the media hype. I wrote about the start of super Jimmer Mania here. Lets take a moment to look at some more Jimmer memes:
The Testaments of one team and many 3-pointers
Jimmer's fanbase extends beyond generations.
And lets not forget the coaches:
The fans made some super memorable signs:
Yahoo! Sports even did a story on the Ten Best Jimmer Signs: 1. "John Stockton is really here to see Jimmer." 2. "Physics says NO. Jimmer says YES." 3. "Jimmer Crossing, Brace Yourself." 4. "Romney/Jimmer, 2012. Jimmer/Romney, 2012." 5. "Cougs bring style ... And today's fashion is Jimmer." 6. "Jimmerica: Land of the three, Home of the shaved." 7. "It's Peanut Butter Jimmer Time." 8. "Gonzaga, a bunch of Jimmerish." 9. "Who needs 7 footers when you can have 27 footers?" 10. "Happy St. Jimmer Day."
But those are only signs found at the first two tournament games. For a while, I couldn't go anywhere without seeing some Jimmer Mania:
Valentine's Day at the Testing Center
The Bowling Alley
Wal-Mart
And then there were the fan videos:
Plus THREE Sports Illustrated covers:
To Jimmer and the rest of the the BYU team: Thanks for the memories.
So last week, I went to go see Battle: LA in theaters with a group of friends. It's the first of many movies I will watch in theaters this year. I thought it was okay. Here's my thoughts on it:
First of all, it's a big, dumb, action movie. Don't go expecting much in the way of plot or character development. The movie just jumps straight to the action with the opening scene showing LA already burning. The movie then flashbacks to 24 hours previous to that moment and provide a series of vignettes that very quickly introduce you to each of the characters. It lasts about a total of seven minutes. They even provide captions telling you the name and rank of all the soldiers, allowing the characters to be introduced even quicker, so we can get to part where aliens start killing them all.
My biggest issue with Battle: LA is the way they filmed it. I suppose the cinematographers were trying to go for the gritty, real-life feel by having camera angles and movements that mimics a war documentary; but to me, it felt like they just handed the camera to someone that has cerebral palsy. Every shot had the camera shaking around worse than Rhianna's hips. Every. Single. Shot. That includes scenes in which nothing is happening but calm, peaceful dialogue. Combine that with the seats I had in the front (since we got there late) and you get one serious case of motion sickness.
But the thing that always stick with me longer than a case of nausea in these films are the aliens themselves. Unlike nearly every other alien invasion movie I've ever seen, these aliens do not come equipped with bullet/rocket/nuke proof energy shields that make any resistance at all completely futile. The aliens will die if you shoot them with your standard M-16 (although it does take a fair amount of bullets). The aliens do most of their invading from the ground, with squads of them running around in their space suits and guns shooting at the marines while the marines shot back, giving the action sequences a more Halo-esque feel. I like this move, because it differentiates Battle: LA from other alien invasion movies where the aliens just sit in their ships and vaporize everyone.
However, the design of the aliens left a lot to be desired. As a big time sci-fi nerd who used to draw pictures of aliens all day long in school instead of doing actual school work, I pay a lot of attention to the look of the aliens.
This is an alien guy that I drew about five years ago. I probably have over two-hundred 9 x 12 sheets of paper with alien drawings that I made between fifth and ninth grade.
The invaders didn't have any cool antennae or crazy eyeballs. They didn't abduct humans to experiment on them or grind them up and use them as fertilizer. They didn't even have super crazy awesome spaceships that rained death on Los Angeles. I was sorely disappointed. At one point, a red-shirt private gets shot in the leg by one of the alien's guns (which appear to shoot bullets, NOT purple death rays or parasites that eat your brain)--and he kept on walking. I was totally expecting him to get vaporized or at least have his leg blown off. I was thinking, "come on guys, if you're going to come all the way across the galaxy to wipe out humanity, at least bring a weapon that does a better job of killing us."
"Did that shot kill you?" "Nope." "Dang it!"
But on the plus side, these aliens didn't make a serious tactical error by grossly neglecting their field intelligence. They thankfully weren't beaten by germs, water, or worse--a laptop with Windows 95. That always bugs me a LOT. Seriously, water melts your skin off and you decide to invade a planet that's 70% water? I mean the indigenous population here is basically walking bags of water!
Same deal with germs. The aliens in War of the Worlds planned their invasion so far in advance that they planted their tripods in the ground before humans even built cities, and they neglected to study whether or not they're allergic to germs? That is such a cop-out.
Dear aliens,
If you are going to invade a planet that is literally covered with stuff that will kill you, at least don't make the mistake of running around naked. That's the problem that the aliens in Signs, War of the Worlds, and even E.T. made. You really ought to invest in some of those hazmat suits or something like that. We humans know that you don't even drink the water in another country when you go to visit it. Do you really think that getting out of your airtight indestructible ships and touching everything is a good idea?
"I'm on a foreign planet! I'm gonna run around naked and drink the water here!"
And another thing, why is it that after humans destroy your invasion force that you never decide to come back? So what if you got hacked by a Windows 95 laptop? Do you realize that by the time the ending credits start to roll that you've already destroyed all the financial centers of the world, all but eliminated a central government, obliterated our infrastructure, and brought the armed forces of the world to its knees? It'll take decades before earth recovers from that! Invest in some clothes and a firewall (I usually go with AVG) and send another fleet over. We'll topple like a house of cards.
Sincerely, Intelligent Life-form
Finally, I was wondering why it is that Aliens always decide to invade the most famous cities? What do you think would happen if they decided to invade Provo first?
LA invasion: Burn down the Hollywood sign
Provo invasion: Paint the naked Indian statue red
LA invasion: Army of marines and jet fighters
Provo invasion: Missionaries on bicycles with pass-along cards
LA invasion: Defeated by water/germs
Provo invasion: Defeated by the Jimmer
LA invasion: Met by Will Smith punching them in the face and saying "Welcome to Earth!"
Provo invasion: Met by a Relief Society President serving funeral potato casserole and saying "Welcome to the 14th ward!"
I'm giving my fifth talk within six months in Sacrament meeting this weekend. In the year leading up to my mission, I gave five talks. And while on a mission, I gave somewhere in the neighborhood of 16-18 talks. So lets do some math:
5 + 17 (best guess) + 5 = 27 talks given since September 2007
Sundays since September 2007 = (52 * 3) + 26 (1/2 of a year) = 182 Sundays
182 Sundays - 48 fast and testimony meetings - 7 General Conference Sundays - 6 Primary and Christmas programs = 121 potential Sundays where I could have spoken
27/121 = .223
.223 * 100 = 22.3% chance that I will be talking in the Sacrament meeting I attend.
22.3 percent! I don't think that even the Bishop speaks that often in Sacrament meeting. This percentage would make sense if I was in a branch that only had five members, but I have never been in a ward that had less than 100 people attending it.
Now, in all fairness, missionaries do get asked to speak a lot. And they do have to give homecoming and farewell talks. But I read a friend's Facebook status just yesterday that stated that she's giving her first talk in church in over four years. I couldn't help but wonder if I have some sort of target on my back when I go to church.
By the way, who decided on the carpet colors in LDS Chapels?
P.S. Don't get me wrong--I really don't mind giving talks in church. I just don't know why it happens so often.
Top small joys that have happened in the last couple of weeks:
5. The other day, my Business communications professor was passing out papers when he looked at me and said "Jacob, that has got to be one of the coolest hats I have seen in a long time." I grinned.
"Unfortunately, we don't allow hats in here," he continued.
I said "oh" and started to take off my hat.
My professor then asked, "who here thinks I should allow Jacob to keep his hat on?" The class approved.
"I don't think I've made an exception like this in decades," continued the professor.
Yay.
My fashion sense felt validated.
4. Watching Jimmer Freddette and the rest of the Cougars trounce the Aztecs, and then the Wyoming Cowboys (I'm blocking the game in the middle out of my memory, btw).
I was at the BYU-Wyoming game last week. It was so awesome to get to see the Cougars on their home court. It was the last home game of the season, so energy was super high! We have got to have one of the best student sections in the entire nation:
3. This is sort of a corollary to the last small joy, but the media coverage of BYU's honor code was very awesome. For those who don't follow BYU basketball, Brandon Davies, a starter who has been averaging 11 points a game, was suspended from the basketball team for the remainder of the season. This put a serious handicap on what is arguably the best basketball team BYU has ever seen, and was definitely a major factor in the staggering defeat we had against the Lobos right before the Wyoming game. The incident put the BYU honor code under nation-wide scrutiny.
I was so surprised to see ESPN commentators say how refreshing it is that at least one college out there is standing up for what they believe in. And it wasn't just ESPN--Time magazine said the incident could be end up being good for basketball in general. Polls on Fox Sports showed that over 60% of respondents believed that BYU made the right decision.
It's so refreshing to see that some people still think it's cool to take a stand.
However, my favorite part of this story comes from right after the BYU-Wyoming game. As BYU is cutting down the net, A very penitant Brandon Davies approached the ladder. Although not allowed to play, Brandon had been supporting his teammates in a white shirt and tie at the bench during the game. He barely acknowledged the crowd, and looked as though he didn't feel worthy to participate in cutting down the net, but the student section thought otherwise. The enormous roar, followed by chants of "Davies! Davies! Davies!" showed that we believe in repentance and forgiveness.
It was a pretty inspiring moment for a basketball game.
2. When I was sitting on the stands getting ready to give that talk I wrote about here, I noticed a familiar name in the Sacrament program: "Organist--Sister Ockey." I looked over at the organ and saw a short old lady with white hair sitting there. "Could it really be her?" I thought. It had been so long since I had seen her last. . .
When I got up to start speaking to the ward, I said, "Good afternoon y'all. Before I start speaking I have to do something." I turned to Sister Ockey. "Sister Ockey, did you used to teach second grade at Edgemont Elementary over there?" She smiled and nodded.
"Oh. My. Gosh!" I said into the mic (totally destroyed my professional image within one minute of my talk there). "Mrs. Ockey was my second grade teacher in 1996--back when I first moved into Farmington. She was seven-feet tall back then," I told the congregation. I turned back to Mrs. Ockey: "I want to thank you so much for all you did for me. I turned out okay in spite of all the weird things I did in your class." (It's true--I was one of those kids that played in the sand at recess and zoned out and doodled all day in class)
I then went on to give my prepared talk. It went very well. After the meeting, Sister Ockey and her husband came up to me and gave me great big hugs. They've retired now, and they also took some time to serve a mission of their own in the British Isles. I hadn't seen her since I graduated from the second grade, yet she still recognized me. What a wonderful couple.
1. My little brother, Elder Jonathan Low, is safe and accounted for. Despite the horrific devastation that is going on in Japan right now, we got word from his mission president that all the missionaries in the Japan, Kobe mission are safe. My heart goes out to all those who aren't as lucky as my family is.
Editor's Note: I'm totally OCD and noticed that this post didn't have a thumbnail on my sidebar, so I'm putting this photo at the top of this blogpost solely because I want this post to come with a thumbnail.
Note2: The sidebar still isn't showing a thumbnail. [Mormon curses under breath]
Strikes With the Stars
So just the other day, my roommate and I went bowling with a few other friends late at night, and we saw this guy just a couple of lanes away from us:
His name is Stephen Jones. He's a BYU graduate, former Cosmo the Cougar, president of Humor U (the BYU stand-up comedy club), and the man your grades could be like.
We stared at him like a group of pre-pubescent girls staring at Zac Efron. We thought that if we stared long enough, then maybe he'd do something funny. Turns out he dances right before he rolls the bowling ball.
I wanted to get his autograph.
Here's another video of Stephen Jones at Humor U:
By the way, I bowled a 132, which is like the best I've ever bowled. Weird coincidence: anytime Justin Bieber music was playing, everyone in our group bowled spares and strikes. Maybe we should call it the Belieber Effect.
Tests and Stairs
I recently had to take a test for Information Systems 201. I spent the morning exercising and studying simultaneously in our apartment complex's clubhouse. I was using the stationary bicycle machine while reading my notes and memorizing key terms. Pathetic, I know. After I finished, I ran back up to the fifth floor of our building, which is where our apartment is located. I always run up the stairs after a workout to keep the juices flowing. Then I took a shower and got my stuff together and drove to campus.
By the way, it was snowing a lot the whole day. Anyways, I parked at the bottom of the Richards Building, which meant I had to climb even more stairs to get to the testing center. Here's a diagram showing the relative height of this staircase:
By the way, that ain't the Las Vegas Statue of Liberty--that's the effin' New York Statue of Liberty. But I was all like "I just spent the last 40 minutes on a stationary bicycle on level 7--I'm going to run up all the stairs!"
So I ran up all the RB stairs, feeling only moderately winded and very proud of myself when I got to the top. I then walked into the testing center, right up to the main desk and talked to the lady there.
Me: My name is Jacob Low. I'm here to take the I Sys 201 test.
Test Girl: Okay, do you have your student ID card?
I reached for my wallet, only to find that it wasn't there. I checked my other pocket, and it wasn't there either. I ran my fingers over the rest of my pockets, feeling the lumps to see if any of them resembled my wallet.
Nope.
Me: (with shame) I don't have my student ID card.
Test Girl: Okay. Do you have your driver's license?
Me: (timidly) I forgot my wallet.
The girl starts talking to me like I'm a freshman whose never taken a test at the testing center before.
Test Girl: Well we need a photo ID in order to give you your test.
At this point, I've become well aware of the students waiting in line behind me for their tests. Their laser-beam dagger stares drill into my back. I start to talk in short, one-word statements in order to get out of this situation as quickly as possible.
Me: Um, I just leave now.
Test Girl: You can go to the SWKT and print off your student report and we'll accept that.
Me: K
Test Girl: We just need a photo ID to give you your test.
Me: Alright.
Test Girl: So once you get that printed, you can come back.
Me: bye.
By this point, I'm already slowly walking backwards. I leave the testing center in shame. I start to head for the SWKT (Spencer W. Kimball Tower). I got about halfway there when I have a revelation. When you send a print job from the computer to the printer, you have to swipe your student ID card!!
I pause and think for a second. I remember some public printing labs at the Wilkinson Student Center. Maybe those don't require an ID card.
I start heading for the Wilk. I get halfway there when I have another revelation. You still have to pay money to print stuff. My wallet is at home.
So maybe I could beg someone for 15 cents, or borrow someone's ID card, or ask the information desk if I can find a place to print something for absolutely free.
In the end, I decided against all those simply chose to go back to my apartment to get my wallet. I'm kind of stressed, because I have a lot of homework to get done this weekend and I don't want to do any homework on Sunday and I want to watch the BYU v. SDSU game, which is starting in like 20 minutes at this point, and all the information I spent all morning cramming into my brain is slowly leaking out of my ears, and I'm in a desperate need of a haircut, and, and, and. . . .
My thoughts turn into run-on sentences when I'm stressed.
So I turn around and start jogging back. I jog down the bottomless RB stairs, and then to my car. When I get back to my apartment building, I run up all five flights of stairs. By now I'm stressed and legitimately tired. I get back inside my apartment--out of breath--and grab my wallet. My roommate reminds me that the BYU game starts in 15 minutes.
I run back down all 5 flights of stairs (the elevator is way too slow), run to my car, and then drive back to the parking lot in front of the Richards Building.
I get to the bottom of the RB stairs.
Yes. Yes I am. And by the way, the testing center always has ominous clouds hovering over it like Mordor. Or Gannondorf's tower from Ocarina of Time.
So by the time I reach the top of the stairs, I am absolutely exhausted. I feel like I've climbed the Empire State Building twice. And any thoughts of information systems have been blocked by the lactic acid that is clogging all my neurons.
When I walk inside of the testing center, I'm secretly dreading the chances of having to talk to the same person at the main desk. Fortunately, someone else appears to have taken her spot. I hand her my student ID card and finally get my information systems test.
After about an hour of scrapping all of the information out of my brain while fighting the want to collapse, I finished the 75-question, 145-point test.
I got a 91 percent on it.
I felt like crying for joy. I was so happy, I felt like this guy:
^Make sure to watch this with closed captioning so that you can read the lyrics.
I even made it back in time to see the last 15 minutes of the game and watch Jimmer and the Cougs beat SDSU by 13 again. That was definitely a highlight of my week.
The moral of the story? Can't really think of a good one, so we'll just go with this one:
"An Elephant Never Forgets."
P.S. I was informed later in the day that I could have parked right next to the testing center and could have therefore avoided the RB stairs. I told them to shut up.
